6 January 2013

Happy Epiphany, I guess. It's the end of the liturgical Christmas season, and the end of my Christmas vacation. I still didn't do a lot of the things I usually do at Christmas - in part because my lovely boyfriend refuses to listen to Christmas  music except on Christmas day, so my hours and hours of choral and carol arrangements had to get squeezed into commutes, etc.

I didn't write here yesterday, and didn't realise it until about 2 am. When I was lying in bed, awake, playing backgammon on my phone in an attempt to stave off the for-no-apparent-reason tears. It didn't work. I'm hoping that going back to work and having that kind of schedule will help.

Because being around people......hasn't really helped. Friday night was necessary because it was a farewell to a friend, but I spent most of that night standing or sitting while people talked over and around me. The bar was really loud - it's a small place, we'd packed it, and then there were people who weren't part of our group as well - and got even louder (painfully so) when the live blues band started playing and no one thought to turn down their mikes. A touch of distortion, and ringing in my ears for an hour. So not only was no one talking to me, but I couldn't get to anyone that I might have wanted to talk to, and I couldn't hear anyone who wasn't immediately next to me. But, hey, good cocktails! Even though I had to put up with Mr. I-don't-like-to-try-new-things, and his friends, Let-me-tell-you-why-your-opinion-is-wrong and Oh-that's-nice-now-back-to-me.

So I think that was part of my problem yesterday, recovering from that. I spent most of yesterday upstairs reading and writing a few (as-yet-untyped) blog posts. I then went to bed, tired, about midnight, only to start crying for no apparent reason (and get pushed away by my normally lovely boyfriend, who hadn't really spoken to me all day). So it was 3am, at least, before I actually fell asleep.

Today I had every intention of waking up at a normal time (hence originally going to bed at a reasonable time last night) and maybe doing some baking. Instead, it was noon and I have played games, washed the sheets (but not put them back on the bed yet), sorted through music files, and cooked dinner. It's 8:30 the night before I go back to work, and I still need to wash dishes, wash my hair, remake the bed, and attempt to sleep at a reasonable time so that I'm not dead when I'm facing two weeks of a crisis inbox. Wish me luck with that....