How long does it take for history to become meaningful? There are several things right now that have made me think about this question. First, my 5-year college reunion is this fall. Second, my 10-year high school reunion is next summer. And third, I just got back from an “alumni choir” event that featured alums from the 1940s through the end of the century.

The alumni choir event was awesome (again. This is the second year it’s happened, and that I’ve attended even though I wasn’t a singer with them, but that’s something for the livejournal rather than this blog) but there was a dearth of singers from the last twenty years. Some of this is probably due to lack of funds or time spent establishing family and careers. But some of it is quite possibly due to the lack of “historical” meaning that my generation has for its college time.

Simply speaking, we’re not old enough yet. When we - or at least, when I - go back to campus, it feels like I’m a student again. I emotionally expect things to be like they were when I was a student there. I want to relive the time when I was a student there, not just remember it. And when I can’t, when things are different, it hurts. It feels almost like a betrayal. Intellectually, I know that nothing is constant, that things always change, and that most of the changes are incredibly good. Emotionally, I have a hard time accepting it. I don’t have the distance yet to remember my college days without wanting to relive them.

I think I do with high school, though, or at least I’m getting there. When I go back to my high school (as I did at the beginning of July for community theatre), I no longer feel as much need to wander the halls and reminisce. When I see friends from high school, I don’t feel as much pressure of memory as I still do with my college friends. I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but I’m a lot closer.

I’m hoping that I’ll be able to handle it this fall - I’ll be back in a town that I adore, but I’ll be there without the people who were with me before and for a slightly different reason than before. I’m sure that the first few weeks, I’ll be trying to relive and recreate my experience of six/seven years ago. With familiarity and routine, I’m hoping that will fade.